Sagittarius (Nov 22 - Dec 21)

There is really nothing nice to say about you Sagittarius. You are a complete idiot, you never know when to quit fucking around, you?re clumsy, and you?re embarrassing to take at parties. Not only that, you?re always hanging out with losers, and you never listen to reason or logic. You are always depending on ?fate? to lead you to the righteous path of NOTHING! Get your head out of your ass Sagittarius!

The Good

I don?t even know why I?m writting this section for the Sagi, but I need to be fair. For starters, you will never find a crazy enough person to go on spontaneous adventures with. Like Aries, they also crave adventure and excitement. The difference here, is that the Aries is more logical, and will usually analyze the situation first before any action is taken. Leave it to the Sagittarius to dive in headfirst. Sagittarians don?t get heart attacks, because they are always giving them.

Sagi?s are straight forward and honest, because they have no choice. They couldn?t bullshit their way out of a hefty bag.

The Archers are VERY charming and hard not to like. They will make you feel like the most wonderful person in the world, till their short attention span kicks in.

The Bad

The Archer gets bored easily. This is why you can never take a Sagi to a quiet dinner party, because they will find something to knock over the table just so that there is something to talk about. They are also the least ambitious, since they are too busy causing trouble.

The biggest negative in a Sagittarius is their inability to settle down. Like the Gemini and Aries, they do not like the idea of monogamy. Even when married, they will always feel like a bachelor. Sagi?s tend to waste alot of time on things and people that are not worthy of them, because they are suckers.

Relationships

Sagittarius Man: Dating a Sagi will be challenging, because one woman isn?t enough for them. The saying, ?Variety is the spice of life? was probably invented by a Sagittarius. The Male Archer is fascinated by the ?thrill of the chase?. They will bedazzle you in every way possible, making you feel like the most loved an admired woman in the universe, but what you don?t know is that he plans on repeating this mating dance the rest of the beautiful women in the room. The nerve!

The Sagi Male does not like a jealous female. They detest it. You might be asking yourself, how the hell will I get to score a Sagittarius Man? Don?t get me wrong, the Male Archer loves being in love, but what they don?t want is to feel like they are going to be locked down for the rest of their lives. Your love together has to be light and fun in order for him to take it seriously. Don?t ask me why, I don?t speak ?dumbass?.

Sagittarius Female: The Female Archer is not that much different from her male counterpart. Like the Male Sagi, they have little to no mercy for leaving a man that bores them. They are shameless flirts, and eternal cock teases. What attracts men to her is her quick wit and sense of humor. You will never find a female Sagittarius boring gentlemen, however you may find her exhausting. Trying to find different ways to ?spice things up? will prove to be a daunting task. Most Sagi Females are whores.

Sagittarius and Sex

Sagittarius Man: Have you ever heard that saying, ?Not all that?s gold, glitters?? This statement is true when having sex with a Sagittarius Male, who, next to Aries, is the King of the Quickie. All that build up, and he didn?t even bother taking your clothes off. Bastards! Don?t get me wrong, they like having sex, it?s just that they are not consistent with their love making patterns. Sure, they will be the first ones to pull out some freaky idea, but it?s not too often. Sagi Men are more intrigued by the foreplay and the verbal asepcts of lovemaking than the act itself. This is very similiar to a Gemini Male. Sagi?s are so gay.

Sagittarius Female: It?s a good thing you both don?t suck at life. Leave it to the Female Archer to save the day. Unlike their male counterparts, the Female Archer is far more exciting. That?s actually not saying very much, since they rarely cater to the needs of their lovers. When having sex with a Sagittarius Female, you have to remember that if you don?t give her what she wants, she has no problem leaving you in the dust and finding a man that CAN take care of business. To my dismay, I think I might have been a Sagittarius Female in another life.

How to Get rid of a Sagittarius

Nag and complain about everything. Become a big bore. Never leave the house. Suggest you stay home and watch a movie.

Advice for Sagittarius

Stop being such a whore. Take control of your life. Take off the rose colored glasses already you idiot.